There is one thing that GM and i really love doing..That is to spend some time in our forest retreat....Many, asked us why we go there and enjoy being away from the comfort of Australian life style...And why would a white man do all the hard work on the land?........ ( they really need to be educated that just because a person is white, it does not mean that he only works in an air conditioned office , just because a person reached university education, he should not get his hands dirty by doing some manual labor , and the most important thing people in my hometown need to learn is that, they must not be ashamed of living off the land, they must not look up to those who have money and can afford groceries and eat canned food..... and they musn't look down on the people who can only afford to eat the produce of their land ....they should realise that they are better off because they live away from the pressure of making money )...........I'm just grateful that Greg shares my passion for the simple life away from all the noise of the modern world...away from vanity of my job...We have a full time gardener but we still love to work along side him.....we love it there and we hope to spend more time there as time goes....
my uncle gave us these banana trees to plant at the back of our little house in the middle of the woods..i thought green man's legs look good...lol...poor greg carried that heavy thing down the hill where my uncle and auntie live...and i carried one too..but i stopped every ten steps or so...don't i look like a dag?....ew..
greg planted some sweet potatoes....one of the locals showed us how to
after about ten days, look!..i was able to pick some of the young leaves which i love for my warm salad....you just steam them and squeeze some lemon and add a pinch of salt and sliced onions and it's yum!..
our little house is surrounded by many varieties of fruit trees and plants like this jackfruit....we have guavas, mangoes, pineapples, avocado and a few other ones.... jackfruit is a very versatile fruit because we use it as vegetables when it's green and can be eaten as main dish on a bed of steamed rice...best cooked in coconut milk with added crab meat or prawns, squid and chilli..it's yummy....when it is ripe, it has a beautiful scent and is very sweet..you may eat it as is or cook it with sticky rice for snacks or merienda....
papaya trees are everywhere....the sweetest papayas are the ones rippened in the tree and freshly picked early morning for breakfast with the traditional filipino breakfast of fried rice, eggs and smoked fish and a cup of brewed coffee ....it's beautiful!!!....oh, i miss my retreat...and the sound of Nature especially at night and in the early hours of the morning....
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the building of our cosy little house is almost complete....
this is what i love to see everytime i look out the windows....and not the neighbour's houses and cars passing by....*
we're only five minutes walk down to the beach...
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the Mt. Mayon is an active volcano...it's last major erruption was two years ago....the perfect cone which it's famous for is no longer that perfect...these photos were taken before the most recent erruption...and i tell you how breath taking it is to look down on this one of God's majestic creations.... so glad to have the chance to take these photos as it is very rarely that air busses circle the mountain .... the mental picture i have of these moments are far more awesome than those pictures above...
Mt. Mayon is one of the many tourist attractions of the Bicol region...it's in Albay in Legaspi City where the airport is....it's less than an hour flight from Manila...and about an hour and a half drive from our retreat...air travel is so much cheaper these days that it's not worth driving 12 hours from Manila to our beautiful part of God's paradise...i can't wait for June next year...
I say, INTEGRITY is doing the right thing even if nobody is watching.....
I grew up not seeing any sign of this in the invironment i was brought up in...But surely, each individual knows what it is before even learning that there is such a word....Our conscience was born with integrity...that is what i know for sure...
I was in my homeland during their election time...Candidates buy their votes and people are just too willing to sell, well, their integrity...It's been a long time since i was there to vote....If i remember correctly, i was in my teens when i voted over there.......but i don't remember being paid to vote....and i am glad....
Well, this time is different...everyone talked about how much which candidate is going to give....I talked to many people to try and understand why they would sell their votes and how on earth this open corruption started...They said that they might as well take the money or else others will take them...I observed and listened to how everyone talked about this money and what time it's going to be distributed a day before the election......
When i told some of them that, i actually paid fine here in Australia because i didn't vote for the reason that i don't want blood on my hands because i don't trust any politicians especially when they send people to war "to make peace"???? and in the name of God..... to kill and be killed....No!, i don't want my thought to be a part of it....
Voting here is compulsary, but i would rather pay than to feel the guilt....$50 is the fine for not voting...how much is your self-respect, honesty and peace of mind anyway?...not much really.....the people (voters) in my hometown got paid 300 pesos each........equivalent to 7 australian dollars to sell their integrity....sickening really....When they found out the equivalent of 50 dollars in pesos, 1,950 pesos, they all looked at me as if saying " how stupid can you be! "
That is the painful reality of a corrupt society.....From the politicians to the churches and down to the people on the streets.....How can one explain to them the meaning of INTEGRITY, the meaning of HUMAN DIGNITY?.....
if you are a 'good apple', and there is only one basket with full of rotten ones, i guess it is very hard....maybe one don't have any choice but put up with the rotten ones and hope that one day, a clean hand would pick you up and amongst the rest and take you out of the rotten basket......
but then again, we are not talking about apples here but humans who are born with conscience...humans with choices and humans who should know that changes start from SELF.......no one can corrupt anyone who don't want to be corrupted....
THERE CAN NEVER BE MASTERS IF THERE ARE NO SLAVES......THE LOVE OF MONEY IS THE MASTER AND THE GREEDY ONES ARE THE SLAVES.....Everyone of them who paid money and everyone of them who recieved, in my mind are all SLAVES....that is how i see it.....
How come, they don't realize the filth of the system they are living in?....The highly educated ones, the very religious "God-fearing" ones....what kind of intelligence do they have......why can't they work out what real slavery is?.........Why can't they get out of their mindset and free themselves from their own slave-like existence?.......
After what happened yesterday, i must give you a lot of credit for keeping calm....i know that after all the years of putting up with people's crap and sort of getting used to unbelievable discrimination, it still hurts.....but as usual, you kept your promise to let peace begin with you..... still not easy, i know you wanted to shout profanity and bombard the whole world and it's people with their own crap but you chose to seek the calmness from your heart.....Remember, you used to cry every time people try to be little you?..Well, isn't that amazing that you even had a peaceful sleep last night after the abuse and harassment you received from that woman's husband....
I also thank you for choosing dignity by not allowing yourself be dragged down by angry people...It's good that you did not throw anger back.....You knew from the very first day you met these people, you strongly felt that they already have a pre-conceived notion of who you are because of the color of your skin.....Your gut feeling was so strong....telling you not to deal with these people, but knowing you, you gave them the benefit of the doubt.....because even though you know that your gut feelings are always right, you try to ignore negative energy other people bring and you always tend to absorb the negative and bring it back out as positive.....it's like breathing in carbon monoxide and breathing out oxygen.....it takes a lot of practise to do that and fortunately, you had a lot of practise.....40 something years.....imagine that!
You were very honest that the design they chose won't look good on her....but would look gorgeous on a tall, slim young woman ( and would not suit a short middle age overweight woman, you thought to yourself ).....you wondered why the sister in law who looked more like a brother in-law ( if you know what i mean ) was the one doing all the talking and was telling you what to do.....but irritating as it was, you kept cool because you have encountered these sorts of people before.....after a few experiences like these, you now know what to do, yet you still ignored your gut feeling and treat them politely and gently used the "right words" to let her know the truth that she doesn't exactly look like that tall skinny model in picture she brought......
Some women, fantasize about looking like a supper model instead of of enhancing the parts of them that are assets to them...they have no idea how difficult it is to create a design that would look good on individuals especially when reach certain age.....
Back to that woman who is controlled by her sister in-law who looks more like a brother in-law ( if you know what i mean ).....she had this lady under her thumb.....It is very obvious that there is some kind of competition between them...this sister in law who looks like a brother in-law ( if you know what i mean )...came with her for fitting and you felt that she was looking for faults....she agreed that it looked pretty and they were happy when they left.....but you received a call from her half an hour after and saying that she doesn't like the dress anymore.....You could hear the sister in-law who looks more like a brother in-law ( if you know what i mean) in the background saying to her that she looked like an old grandma....and that annoyed you a bit and told the lady that if she wants to alter it then she can go and get some more materials and don't blame you if it still makes her look the way she is....She told you that she'll call again and hang up....If i were you, i would have told her that "i am a dressmaker, not a miracle worker....i can't magically make a skinny woman out of a fat one overnight"...........glad it wasn't me who answered the phone....
Her husband called to tell you that you have been given a job and you didn't do a good job and you don't know what you are doing......and that he already called the Current Affairs program to investigate you....." I HOPE YOU HAVE A LICENCE TO WORK IN THIS COUNTRY OR YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO YOUR OWN COUNTRY WHERE YOU COME FROM!!"......."I WILL PICK UP THE DRESS TOMORROW....I DON'T WANT YOU TO FINISH IT".......
You were furious inside ( that was me)...but calmly told him that they should pay the time you worked on the dress before you hand it over to them....but he said " NO, WAIT FOR THE CURRENT AFFAIRS TO SHOW UP ON YOUR DOOR "......then he hang up......
You laughed but I boiled up inside of you.....These Greek people reminded me of what the Italians did to you a few years ago....Remember that short fat Italian lady who agreed with your design for her dress to wear to her son's wedding?....After you finished working on the dress, she tried so hard to find faults....She was not happy with the sleeves because one is shorter than the other....but when you measured the sleeves, they were perfect....then you measured her arms, the left is an inch shorter than the right......Remember the look on her face?....all those fifty years living on earth, she just found out that she was not proportion.....You and I realised that it was only a tactic they use to get your service for nothing....Those people be friended you so they can take advantage of you.....They tried to teach you how to be shifty and how to avoid paying tax....they told you not to record everything you earn.....But good on you, you stick to your principles and they knew that, so in the end, they distant themselves......
This also reminded me of that fellow filipina who be friended you.... who asked you to make a couple of dresses and did not want to pay.....you were forced to send her warnings which she ignored, your third warning was that if you don't receive payment within a month period, you will take her to court...then she paid......
This also reminded you of that Australian lady whom you made the wedding dress for.....and when it was finished, and she was happy coz she looked gorgeous in it, she decided that what you were asking for was too much...." IT SHOULD ONLY BE HALF OF THAT BECAUSE OVER IN ASIA, LABOR IS VERY CHEAP ".....you were torn up inside and told her that we are not in Asia.....with a lot of belittling and trying so hard to find faults in the dress to make you feel that you don't deserve an Australian pay because you are Asian, You my dearest ME stood up for yourself.....and she paid....
And of course, who can ever forget that Pakistani guy who asked you to work on his two pairs of trousers?...and didn't want to pay in the end....the most rude of all wasn't he?.....Sigh!,,such is life and all the crap that goes with it!....But yet, still, life is beautiful isn't it?....Because really, there are only a few of them morons around....1 moronic Greek out of 100 fabulous Greeks..... 1 ignoramous Italian out of 100 beautiful Italians......1 Stupid Filipino out 100 gorgeous Filipinos.....1 conibing Aussie out of 100 fair and fantastic Australians.....1 imbecile Pakistani out of 100 gentle and decent Pakistanis........and so on......LIFE IS GOOD.....
So, go now and look pretty.....put your make up on, don't forget your eyebrows....you never know what time the crew of the Current Affairs show would knock to investigate you.....Well, we know that you look gorgeous even without make up on according to your adoring husband.....but it still good to draw that eyebrow as high as you can.....magtaas ka na lang ng kilay like you always do.......with love..
your other side, lezah
PS...thank you for being me....oxoxoxoxo...
lol..after that abuse and harassment from that man, which Patrick heard, he was furious and he wanted to call the man...but i did not let him.....then Kris wanted to call the man....i said "what for?"....
" to remind him of his manners!", he answered angrily....i thought, geezzz kid, how could you remind others of their manners when until now, you are still looking for your's which you lost when you were about 3...lol....
then when Greg found out, he wanted to call the man...i said "what for?"......" to tell him where to go!" he said angrily ...he was so red on the face....lol.....and kept on asking if i was alright....and today, he kept ringing from work every half an hour to see if i'm okay....lol...if he don't stop calling, i won't be......Guilvert called to check if i'm okay and told me he found out from Patrick...and he was very angry.....but greg and the boys made me feel so loved and secure....what else can i ask for?....
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"A 75 years old widower Filipino Australian is sponsoring his 21 year old wife from the Philippines." my son told me....this really reminded me of the 19 year old Filipina i met in one of our Filipino community gathering a few years ago, and when she introduced me to her 75 year old husband, i was shocked at how on earth the parents of this child allowed it..
I know it is not my business but for God's sakes, she is too young to be your wife!!!!, i thought to myself.......Being a filipina myself, i am really tired of answering questions like why are these beautiful young Filipinas marry very old men?....i can't help but feel embarrassed.... 30 years was the most age gap i heard of some marriages, which although, i personally won't get myself into no matter how desperate i am, yet i do understand the need of an old man to have someone to care for him and a young woman from impoverish family back at home whom sometimes probably are used as the "meal tickets" of her whole family....As painful as it is, it does happen to millions of young Filipino women....
But for God's sakes, if you know personally any 21 year old who is willing to sacrifice herself in this way.....please enlighten her.....wake her up....if she is doing it for her dysfunctional family, she is making a huge mistake.....if she is doing it out of love, then fine...but let's face it, what sort of romantic love is there between an old man of 75 and a 21 year old baby girl?......quite frankly, it's making me sick....to my mind, it is like pedophilia....
Okay, it is still possible to have romantic love between a couple with 30 year age gap if both are past their 40s.....50 years age gap and one of them is in their early 20s really bothers me....i know it's not my business....but this is one of those things i allow my mind to judge and raise an eyebrow to....
That link above is Chel's blog about her brother Demetrio's ( "Dems" as he is affectionately called ) art exhibit's opening night, His first solo art exhibit was held last mid April to the 5th of May. Greg and I just made it. We arrived in Manila on the 4th of May Saturday late in the afternoon so i was kind of anxious about not being able to go and see the exhibit at a gallery in the Mega Mall ....but thanks to Chel who contacted me early Sunday morning..And she is so kind enough to pick us up from the hotel in Makati and we all went together..And she didn't even let us contribute towards the petrol at least...We sort of closed the exhibit...lol...
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I am in awe of Dems' paintings..I don't know about the others who went to see but all I can say is...I am in awe of his ability to connect with people ( of all ages ) spiritually through his works of art..I felt humility, caring, dreams and hopes and affection that he has toward fellow humans ( especially the children ) through all his works..His dreams for the young generation is clearly seen through his paintings..His passion to inspire children is very inspiring...I am so connected with his paintings for they brought back many memories of my humble childhood...Those memories are what brings me back there year after year to somehow find a way to make a difference...not in terms of handing out financially, but in terms of showing examples to those who are in desperate situation where i was those many years ago, that the only way to escape poverty is to make a change of mindset and to keep seeking for inspiration and to become inspirations themselves....I wish for the young ones to realize that they don't need to to leave their birthplace to escape from poverty.....I am grateful for people like Dems who are passionate about making a difference in the lives of others especially that of children...there is always that child in me who looks up to people like Dems who are driven and focused...the child in me who still dreams and hopes....
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Dems' painting have all those important messages, that is why i feel so priviledged to have met him and his entire family who are all supporting him with his passion...As a fellow Filipino, I am truly proud of him....More power to him...He will surely go down in history as one of the great Filipino artists of all times....
Sharing these pictures that Greg took at the gallery...
The details on this painting are just amazing...as if you are looking at picture of real money...if i am not mistaken, they sold this one for quite a sum of money people like me could never afford ....
plastic bottles and other materials for recycling..reminding us the need to be aware of how to care for environment.
this looked like real picture instead of painting...how awesome!...
This won him the award...i swear this painting looked so real that you could smell the fish...well, my imagination always gets the best of me...
i love these paintings of the children....and what they stand for which Dems explained but i'd rather not convey them in my own words for i might ruin the beautiful meaning...
And below are us....
with Chel..
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the nude paintings...i didn't know that if you press any one of those discs, you hear the sounds of moaning and groaning....lol..Greg told me to press one....it made me jump two meters away....
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*with Chel's Mom...lol, i wish i remember what it was we're laughing about..
with Dems...I feel so priviledged to have met him and his family...and it feels good to be with people who remain humble despite the success...it feels good to be with people who are always in touch with realities of life and with their humble beginings...and it feels good to be with people who see spiritual meanings and celebrate, share life with others through their creativity...
left to right...Dad, Mimi ( Dems' wife), Mom, Donald ( Chel's other brother), Dems, me and Greg and the fidgitty youngest child of Mimi and Dems....
Greg and I are now sort of parts of their family ..lol..coz I decided that they should adopt me.....coz i feel so at home with them than with my own family...
Greg with little Marc..( i hope i got the name right )
Greg took picture of Chel taking picture of me...lol..Greg was obviously not wearing his glasses...
MUKHTAR MAI....a remarkable woman who stood up not only for herself, but for the rights of all women of the world...The humilliation she was put through did not take away the human dignity in her.....She outshined even the most glamorous hollywood celebrities and the women of power......I came across her story three years ago, and since then I have this deep respect and admiration for this truly remarkable woman......This is the third time i am posting her story......because it is really very important that her story not be forgotten so that those who still live in a very male dominant society like where she lives, take the courage to fight for women's equal rights to be treated with dignity and respect.....
This is how i recalled the news was........ a 35 year old Pakistani woman. In her village, the custom is that if a male sibling committed a crime, he can be forgiven if a female sibling go and appear in the presence of an elder of the community and ask forgiveness on behalf of her brother. But in the case of this woman, that is not what happened. She went to the elders and she was sexually assaulted. She walked home half naked after a gang of 14 men raped her . She was humilliated and became the cause of shame to her family. In similar situation, a woman would go away and be isolated or in some cases they would commit suicide because of the shame. This very poor uneducated remarkable woman sued the men who raped her. Her case attracted international media attention, the government was under pressure . The 14 men were arrested, shown chained to each others and jailed for their crime. Five of them appealed and won .But this brave woman took her case to the supreme court and the five went back to jail. She was awarded $8,000 compensation. She used the money to build schools for the poor kids in her village . She continues to live in poverty. She's on her way to America to recieve some kind of award for standing up to human dignity. I hope she gets more publicity, and some wealthy person may be kind enough to take notice of her story and help elevate her from her materially deprived existence. She's one of my many unsung heroes. This story must never be forgotten. Such a strength and sense of dignity of a woman, i wish i have the same strength in me.
SAY NO TO RAPE!!.....NOT ONLY TO RAPE OF WOMEN AND CHILDREN BUT ALSO TO RAPE OF MEN!!!.....SAY NO TO HONOUR KILLING!!!....which is still practiced by those who grew up with these beliefs and tradition.... even after they fled the countries and cultures that believe in these apalling practices.......A couple of these so called honour killing happened here in Australia to girls who were born here....Did their God Alah really want those girls to die in the hands of their fathers and other male relatives because they "dishonoured God and their families " by falling in love with non-Muslims?....I can't help but ask this question....the same way I ask whether the bible God Yahweh really took delight in the rapes and abuse of women which are recorded in the "holy book"?........And why do people think it is holy?....Why do they accept these as "God's word"?.....and what is holy about all these heinous crimes?........Or maybe they haven't truly examined all the contents of the so called "holy book"...The chaos and terrors we face everyday on this beautiful planet of ours is due to the fact that for generations, we have been psychologically programed.....It is up to us individuals to reprogram SELF.....we need to change our mindsets...Repentance means change...After we change our mindsets, we must not look back to the laws that created sufferings, chaos, indignation to us humans....It is time to stop passing on archaic beliefs to all the children of the world...Free them!...Let us enable them to create peace for themselves if we the adults are really that hopeless.....It is time to use our God given conscience.....People keep saying, "everything happens for a reason"......But I say, let us use our POWER of REASON.......because no matter how I try, I can't think of any logical or benificial reasons why women should be subjected to this.....
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These brutal abuse of women happen all over the world..although, sadly, are more prevalent in countries and communities that are controled by archaic religious beliefs and who treat their women less important.......and yet women are made out to be their symbol of family's honor........If that is the case, then please, treat them with dignity....Not only the women in your family but all the women in general......
***MUKTHAR MAI***
a picture of strength, pride and dignity.
These are some of her accused rapists ( found guilty)....look how strong a million times over Mukhtar Mai is compare to all the "strength" of these men put together!.....
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If you are a father to sons, teach your sons morals and values and respect by treating their mother and sisters with utmost gentleness, tenderness and dignity....If you are a mother of sons, teach them how to be gentle, loving, tender, kind, respectful and protector of women by not allowing their father and brothers to treat you and your daughters less important than they are.....This is the whole meaning of BEING A WOMAN....to show that we are strong within and to use that strength for the good of entire human race.....Because our strength is within while men's are with out........It is the responsiblity of us women to teach men how to find spiritual connection and strength within them so that they may find the true meaning of BEING A MAN.....Their roles are to protect , provide and comfort us physically......Although we come from them physically, they come from within us (spiritually)...WE, Women give birth to them...We all must understand deeply the meaning of SPIRITUAL ONENESS of HUMANITY....if we understand this truth, we'll be at peace with SELF....
and that peace will spread out...
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i have three sons and no daughters.....if any of my sons treat any woman (or anyone in general ) disrespectfully, they have me to answer to.....
You know, when i want to reach out to a group of two or more people, i send letters and so that no one can bend or alter my words to suit them, each recieves a copy......One of the persons who did not agree with my thoughts , responded to it in handwritting and adressed to me only, so then i had to respond to her letter to me and she thought she needs to show others what i wrote and " clear her name "......but then, when i told her that if she wants it that way, then the others must read the letter she wrote which i responded to....Eight pages of them....."you don't have to do that" she said.....but i explained to her that, here i am being very open and honest with everyone and don't want to hide anything, just because she didn't like my answers (which by the way are no more no less my own observation after the fact and not hearsay and i have proofs) she decided to scrutinise my words........If she knew or remember the contents of her letter, she won't want others to read it......And if i was her, she won't pursue letting others know what i wrote her which are all in respond to her letter that no one had a copy of...not even her had a copy....She must have some degree of trust in me to express her opinion to me only.......And i don't want to put her in a vulnerable position.... But to reprimand and tell me how unproffesional of me to be sending letters to everyone to reach out to them did not sound right......." how else am i gonna reach out to everyone and let them all know what is in my mind" i asked her......"well, writting to everyone is not very proffesional", she answered......I spent about an hour on the phone entertaining her complains, and listening to her talking over me....
I may have a pea brain, but to my mind, i wouldn't do what she did because ( correct me if i'm wrong ) she is the one who acted very unproffesional....But i didn't even oppose her when, with full of conviction, she was telling me how unproffesional i am.......
Others thought that was great that i reached out to all of them and grateful because none of them are game enough to do it....
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You know what?...that's probably why animals were created...because sometimes it is more productive talking to the animals....
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anyway, while working this morning, i recieved a call from one of my favorite clients........which i talked about in this blog i posted a few months ago......this couple always make my day.....i needed it this morning.....there really is no need to have many words exchange between two parties if both aims for harmony and understanding.....
LANGUAGE BARRIER
just finished attending to a lovely hungarian couple in their late 70s.
she needed her husband to translate to me what she wanted.design of her dress you know...
she said," " ( in hungarian)
he said,"ok, ok, " (in hungarian )
" right, she wants it long down to the floor", i said and started sketching..
"no!no!no!no!no!",( in hungarian ) shaking her head.
"no!no!no!no!no!",(in hungarian) shaking his head.
"ok, we'll make 3/4 length, and what about the sleeves?",
she answered,""(in hungarian)
he translated," "( in hungarian)
" perfect!", i said.." we'll have it just down passed your elbows.....and what about the neckline?"
"hmnn,, ahhh ..",( in hungarian)
" what about a V neck instead of round?...it would be more slimming"
"no!..", (in hungarian)
" it will suit you...you don't have that much wrinkles around your neck and you don't look your age", i assured her....she really looked much younger than some of the older women her age i thought....
"yes!yes!, old! old!", he teased his wife..
"you!you! old man!", she teased him back..
yeah, they are always happy and cheerful everytime they come to see me...really nice to be around them......
so then we all agreed that it's going to be an A line dress with boat neckline, with sleeves passed the elbows and the length is down to her calves...
EASY!!...so who said that language is a barrier?....not in my job...and not in multicultural society where the elderly citizens who migrated here decided that their own national languages are the best and the easiest to communicate with...
as for me, i am mocked up sometimes in my own head because i could be making conversation in english but first have to translate the words in my mind from bicol then say them in english...there are three different languages stored in my memory.....bicol is what i am most comfortable and fluent with and could talk straight but will take time to write.....tagalog is my second language which i speak mixed bicol...and then english with my weird accent........
many immigrants don't bother learning english which makes things difficult sometimes....
but we could always use our universal language...the Body Language..which speaks more and louder than words.......just think of babies, who don't speak a word and yet we understand them.....i'm just thinking that maybe if the members of the UNITED NATIONS all 'talk' like babies.....maybe they'll understand each others more...there won't be any wars......hmmn, i wonder if those highly educated, highly intelligent law makers men and women of UNITED NATIONS know what the word 'UNITED' means?...but it's just my silly thought...
i better go back to work now......happy weekend everyone...most of you will have weekend breaks but mine is always busy working..
(ps...rabbits up there are not the couple i was talking about...i was talking about real hungarian couple whom i always look forward to render my service to, who don't speak the same language, but we understand each others just the same, to us, language is not a barrier)
those imoticons are just amazing..makes it easier to write a blog using sign language...
Every moment in life is an amazing experience...Whether they are good or bad, we must look at them as "defining moments" and should never forget the lessons learned from them....Most importantly, we must share them with others especially the younger generations....
It was in the middle of 2005 when first got myself into internet forums and social networking...Blogging, interacting and making and meeting new friends from all over the world....People of many different cultures, beliefs and backgrounds....But i didn't start connecting and sharing my thoughts with others for the first year...So my first entry on y360 was august of 2006....Since then i enjoyed learning from reading my multiculture friends' blogs ...I trusted that everyone i meet here had the same purpose as i have...And that is to be connected and learn and share....As i learn more about those whom i am connected with, i felt more trusting and trusted that they are genuine....Although i experienced many unpleasant ones, which made me felt like leaving this unreal world, beautiful people outweighs the ugly ones (not talking physical beauty)...enough reason for me to stay and continue sharing....I want to continue learning....I want to continue gathering defining moments.....
I wondered what religious people really meant when they describe themselves as "GOD- FEARING"....Maybe they too wondered why i don't fear God i always describe myself as "GOD-LOVING"..... I am saddened at what went on with a group of my fellow Filipinos in one of the blog sites i belong to....I know that conflicts like what happened there are not isolated to a particular culture....But once again, this experience here brought me back to my childhood defining moments....Which i wish to share here, so that those who care to read may find lessons and may be inspired to share stories of their own meanings and purpose......Life is just so beautiful but short, so we must spend every moment of it bringing dignity to the whole of humanity.......
Anger, hatred, bitterness are very hard to get rid off.....It took me many many years to finally free myself......Each good and bad experiences were precious defining moments for me......Be GOD-LOVING instead of GOD-FEARING.....And most of all feel GOD WITHIN......GOD IS LOVE...LOVE is not associated with fear....
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This story below is one of my life's 'DEFINING MOMENTS'
She was in year three when her teacher anounced that the class will participate in the "first communion"..She heard about how important this is for the forgiveness of sins that she inherited from her parents , that her parents inherited from her grandparents who inherited it from forefathers who inherited it from her great great great ....Traced back to the first couple Adam and Eve because they ate apples...She kept thinking how "eating apples" can be such horrible sins to the point that God killed them and burn them for eternity....God must be so cruel!?....Anyway , confession and communion are very important for salvation.
She was nervous about the confession...Very hard to think of at least five sins she committed..("lying, quarelling with sisters, envious of others who have food to eat, envious of other children who wear nice clothes and slippers, wishing that she has a home somewhere else ".)..those are the sins she was guilty of...So much more than what Adam and Eve did, therefore she is worse than them...
Oh, she hates the thought of the fact that she is worse, but wait, "hate" is a sin...
It was compulsary to participate in the confession except for the pentecostal kids, about 6 of them...They were the outcast, they will definitely go to hell because they don't belong in the catholic church..those kids are the weird ones so don't mix with them......
The librarian/religion teacher, was a mean,horrible,strict, God- fearing, holy and prominent member of the church...She was in charged of the organizing of the students to go to church for confession..
On the day of the confession, candidates for first communion were the first ones in line...All the girls were wearing beautiful veils ...Made of white lace, some were beaded, which made them all looked holy and pure..That girl didn't have any..Couldn't find any at home..Mother didn't bother for some reasons..That girl knew she was in deep trouble, she wanted to hide or just magically become invisible..The religious teacher spotted her ...Their eyes met...That girl's heart beat so fast as if it wanted to come out of her chest...She was very scared...The teacher, pulled her out of the line dragging her by the ear...In her mind, she was pleading for the teacher not to do it...Out of the line in view of all the students, she was paraded like a criminal, the most sinner of all...
"What is wrong with you!!?"..the teacher screamed on top of her voice. so that everyone could hear."you knew that you have to make a confession, you can't be in front of the Father (priest) without a veil...very disrespectful!!!."..
Still pulling her by the ear, the teacher walked her back and forth the long line of the students to show her the veils, the beautiful veils other girls were wearing...That girl feeling so guilty and ashamed of herself...Most of the students gave her that dirty look....She wanted to melt..Still pulling her by the ear, the teacher shoved her back in line , hit the girl with her knuckles on the top of the head and lent the girl a white hankie to wear as a veil......The girl felt like screaming and kicking and maybe strunggling that religion teacher...But it will be disrespectful and her head felt like breaking in half ...She wanted to cry but can't........
" You know what to wear for your communion i hope!...Tell your mother to make you hankie if she cant afford a veil !"....
"Father please forgive me for my sins, I lied, I fight all the time with my siblings, I stole something from my friend and I did not bring a veil this morning"..
She did not tell the priest about being envious of others who always have food to eat, she lied about stealing ..... She never stole anything, she just mumbled and made up stories, ( the more sins, she comes up with, the more she 'll be forgiven , she thought ) but she did not tell the father about how much she hates that religious teacher....The priest told her to pray 3 Our Fathers, 3 Hail Marrys and 3 Glory Bes...She knelt down and prayed inside the church hoping that she be forgiven..She prayed from the bottom of her heart...
In her heart, she did not want to participate in that communion...She will never forget the stares of the students and how small she felt in front of them...Somehow, her mother managed to borrow a white dress and a veil and white shoes for the communion...She was told that if the bread get stuck on the roof of her mouth, it means her sins aren't forgiven.....As soon as the bread touched her tongue, it went right up to the roof of her mouth and stayed there until it all melted.....She kept it a secret, she did not want anyone to think of her as the "unforgiven sinner.".....She had a couple more confessions and communions after that to feel some kind of belonging...But, the bread always get stuck on the roof of her mouth.....When she turned 16, she left the church....To her it is the coldest , unwelcoming, discriminating place of all and she did not feel the presence of a loving God in those big elaborate buildings called churches.
************** When i left the church, i found God...In my heart God resides.....When I found God within, i became aware of the presence of God in my fellow humans' hearts and in most cases, the absence of God in their hearts...
The God that i know is not partial...The God I experience does not favor one from the other...He provided and gave many blessing even before he created mankind...He did not "die"...He continiously give life as seen in Nature..There is no original sin..Babies are born pure..Humans became "sinful" when they started desiring power over others..spending precious times of their lives disconnecting from fellow humans ....because it is how we become disconnected from the LOVE OF GOD . We are all connected by One Spirit..Humans don't realize the "Oneness of Humanity".....To kill a fellow human is to kill a part of us...Physical death is the extention of the greater meaning of life... God's ultimate blessing is the complete peace of mind even in the middle of chaotic world..and not the physical beauty or the amount of money and material things a person accumulates..Not the power of a few over others....To know the true meaning of equality and human dignity is a blessing that brings a complete peace of mind....
********* Rather than put label on yourself as Christian, Jew,Moslem, Buddhist,or whatever, instead make a commitment to be Christ-like, God-like, Buddha-like and Mohammed-like" ...by Dr. Wayne Dyer
" Once you have learned to enter your inner kingdom, you have a special retreat within that is always available to you"..by Dr. Wayne Dyer
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I have forgotten what i had for dinner last night, but i will never forget the face of that teacher and how humilliated i was being paraded..i will never forget that moment how my heart beat, the painful ear and the headache she gave.......But the most awesome part of this experience is the fact that now that i truly have found God,i no longer feel any hatred nor anger towards any....To me it is the most important blessing....not to feel hatred or anger......It is peaceful that way...... No matter how hard, no matter how painful, the gift of life really is very beautiful!...So i will continue to savour every moment of it....And each will always be defining moments for me...**hazelvee**
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..i thought green man's legs look good...lol...poor greg carried that heavy thing down the hill where my uncle and auntie live...and i carried one too..but i stopped every ten steps or so...don't i look like a dag?
....ew..
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..coz i feel so at home with them than with my own family...
, ahhh ..
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